Mom Says Smoke It Up (WMV)
I found something very, very interesting. Cigarettes and a lighter? There aren't many cigarettes missing, but this lighter has had a good life, so it's clear that this isn't your first pack of cigarettes. It is already a bad habit at this point, huh? I can tell. It's a problem.
I thought about punishment. How can I make my darling son stop smoking? It's a nasty habit. Disgusting. So what do we do? Well, some nasty habits can just stop, cold turkey. Here's the problem with that at your age - it doesn't work. You want to do the opposite of what they're told. They want to do what isn't good for them, the naughty things.
Hm. You must be stressed. Why don't you smoke a cigarette? Here, have one. I'll even light it for you and give you enough time to smoke it comfortably. It's a nasty habit, but I bet it feels good. I want you to be happy. Smoke it up! You know, a cigarette can really for good, hm? It feels like all the stress in the world is being released.
15 cigarettes left now. I bet that one in your mouth feels great right now! Feel yourself relaxing? Uncomfortable? Yeah, you know Mom has something up her sleeve. I'm pretty ticked, honestly. I'm just going to handle this in a... different way. Dad would want to ground you. But does that solve the problem? No. You'd probably want MORE at that point.
Okay, you're all done, huh? How about we step it up, give you extra stress-relief? How about THREE cigarettes at once? Why don't you go ahead and smoke these three. I don't mean one at a time. I mean allllll at once. Come on. Here. I'll light them all for you, too. Don't lose any. I may make you eat them.
It's going to be like a bar in here soon. And actually, being a smoker means you'll probably end up in a bar one day. Probably drinking whiskey, smoking your cigarettes, smelling nasty, be overweight, consistent 5 o'clock shadow... looking at the young girl across the bar, who cringes when you look at her. You'll know the bartenders by name. That'll be your future. Yeah.